In my quiet hours, I spin stories in my mind.
Some, dreams. Others, less so. Still yet others, of a glimpse into realities unrealized.
Each touch, a memory of what once was, like lightning in a bottle… and the skeins of memory blurs ever further, til the Light fades, bound by the arrows of time, of thought.
A memory of what is, lit by an ever-changing mist of uncertainty, bound by the arrows of change.
A memory of what will be, catching the lightning and bound by the arrows of fate, of things untouched. Mysteries unbound. And in those quiet moments, an ever-growing ache of a weave binding hearts and minds…
Gone it was, like the memories that was the brimful of Light that was that flame, dancing away. And it made him ache with longing, the bright burning sun, just beyond his fingertips no matter how he strived. When had he ever taken it for granted? It had been an ounce too much, a gamble that had shredded his very soul.
Did it matter? He knew not, yet he still caught the lightning, beheld it… ‘Tis a wonder, the beauty that was his well. There was no need to take it for granted, no reason why he should either, yet he continued to.
As he often did.
Another few moments, time fading, till the Light fades, bound by the arrows of time. A beautiful arrow, of bright blazing light, with each edge lashed with a bitter fate. As the slow evening light filtered in, and the most ethereal of weather moved in, and the nightfall spread like a cloak across the streets, he lay huddled beneath his cloak, with his eyes closed. Listening to the strain of music that floated in from that self-same source.
And in those few moments, a sweetness grew, a burden borne of love, a woeful wish…
For all the sudden, the thing came alive. A feathery green presence, a gesture of greeting, a lifetime or two of joy and sadness. He would never be free from it, never be in his own place again…
Just a little longer, time fades, bound by the arrows of time, of thought.
He has a way, now… a way to reach her, a way to leave, a way to find a place where they will never part. Not truly, but for a bit. A little while, a little while.
‘Tis a wonder, the beauty that was his well. It wasn’t long, not a second at the most. His fingers brushed his lips softly, in remembrance, and a soft, musical chuckle came from the other side of the doorway.
Yet another gift, not so beautiful, but more… complex. A peace, a hum, a sigh as that ache grew deeper, touching upon his soul.
He found he was laughing, breathless and thankful for the quiet times. The rest of the day was rather useless, yet the hour before was filled with warmth and friendship.
And it was enough. A smile slipped across his face, as he once more gazed at the leaves that were his friends. They brought a light, a joy into his heart, the first ray of a dawn that would be his tomorrow.
Funny, he had never really noticed them before. He had seen them around him, the world’s beauty.
Yet, they were little more than another blossom in the garden… now… they took on a different meaning, a special kind of beauty, for they were as important to him as the stars in the sky. Things that once were, seen from another’s perspective. A smile flashed across his face, warm and dimpled, and he breathed in, a delicate rattle.
If it weren’t so warm…
Time grows short, and the leaves will soon fall. Bound by the arrows of change, bound by the arrows of fate.
But there are things he is bound to. He is bound to her, bound to what is not his, bound to a future he hasn’t seen.
He is bound to… The Light. Her Flame.
He saw her come back, a puff of smoke rising from the stack of leaves she had gathered. He looked back down, gazing at them, and the smile returned.
A beautiful arrow, of bright blazing light, with each edge lashed with a bitter fate.
And in those few moments, a sweetness grew, a burden borne of love, a woeful wish…
The tiniest speck of light danced across the smooth surface of her neck. A smile… for him. Reminding him that she was the brightest of the Light.
Perhaps a different shade of blue, but brighter. So bright that it filled the whole room and the only other light seemed pale. Another small ache, but this time he welcomed it. He was waiting. She didn’t know… it was perfect. Time fades, bound by the arrows of time, of thought.
It had always been like this, like the pain had always been there, like her heart was always bound to someone else. Like her soul had always meant to connect with another… And like she always felt she could never stop. She never knew why.
She never knew that it was only him. She never knew that she could…
Just a little longer…
Every sound in the night… quiet and close, if they listened closely they could hear them… But not all sounds were meant to be heard.
They would sometimes find bits of evidence, bits of what was meant to be unseen.
Time was not silent…
The ice cracking… slow at first, but faster and louder as time went on. The message hidden beneath the past… And finally, the silence would end, and then he would leave.
When they made love, there would be nothing. When they kissed, there would be no life.
The door would always be closed, and it would never be opened again.
His kiss, his touch… if only. It would never be the same, but maybe it should be.
It could.
She would be lost, so lost, and the door wouldn’t be closed, and there was no one to see.
The door would be open, and she would never be seen. And if she were to leave… never return.
It would be forever lost, so the door must never be closed.
To leave… well, that she would never do.
Trees love the rain… He wanted to think, but there were things he did not want to think about.
No.
He needed to think, but there were things he didn’t want to think about.
No.
He needed to think.
A series of strange words…
Then, too late, he saw it. The destruction he had begun to lay upon the land. The broken bodies, the shredded pieces, the screams of the dying… the ruin. The growing forest was spread before him… a cruel and sickening mockery of what was once a noble forest. The Lifeblood. His ever-guiding Light.
It was hard to hide, but he did it. His heart burned, it was afraid. He didn’t know what would happen if he were to let it out. His tears, his tears. And the sobs… They were always so strong, they always burst out of him and took him completely by surprise, like a wave before the moon.
And he fell to the ground, a writhing heap, as his tears mingled with the grass. He was gone, so he thought. He could not see her, nor hear her. His Light.
It was hard to hide, but he did it. He pushed his tears away and lied to himself, because he was afraid. His pain, his sorrow, his silence, it was hard to hide, but he did it. He pushed his pain away and lied to himself, because he was afraid.
His Light, his Heart.
It was hard to hide, but he did it. He always hoped. He always hoped that she would return, and he never stopped. He never let go of the dreams, the hopes, of that one day. Maybe it was time to take a leap of faith, but something held him back. Something that he couldn’t explain to anyone. His fear.
"Look out!"
His mind was spinning, his heart was filled with screams, his tears were beating. It was hard to keep his breathing under control.
She had come, again.
They are of the wind. They are of the water. They are of the earth. They are of the fire. They are of the spirit…
She woke him, always she woke him. She was the one who pulled his fingers back, and showed him what she had seen.
He had gone through that door.
She had gone through that door, but he had not.
When the day came, he would go through that door.
He had felt it on the first day. He was tired. He was weak. He had no strength left. But he couldn’t let her down. He had to do it.
She had gone through that door. He was so lost, and he needed her. He couldn’t live without her.
He ran through the door. He felt the wind.
He was standing next to her.
"Go back, my sweet. I’ll be right there."
Her heart was beating. So fast, so loud, and she hadn’t noticed it. She was trying to be strong, but she couldn’t keep it up. He was so pale. She held him to her breast, but the pain was too much.
He ran through the door.